How Do You Like Being a Mom?

This picture summaries my first year as a mother - Joy, Fear, Sharing, Messiness, and Pride. There are several questions I have been routinely asked over the course of this year and they are generally asked by strangers.  How do you like being a mommy (side note- what grown person refers to themselves as mommy)?  How long are you going to breastfeeding? And most often, when are you going to have more children? My response is usually a stunned silence since I'm a relatively private person, aside from this blog. I can't imagine why anyone who doesn't know my birthday or where I went to college cares about my family's reproductive future. People are nosy, I am too. But why should they care how long my baby was breastfed or whether she sleeps through the night. Where are my new friends at 3 am when the Nugget decides its dance party time? Funny how freely people offer parenting advice but aren't quick to offer overnight babysitting. 

The parenting advice I would have appreciated most is you WILL mess up, everyone does. Some time, some way it is an inevitability that it will happen. Even the most dedicated, patient, competent parents I know have had accidents. I have decided its a right of passage when your child falls off a couch or bed, eats dog food, and looks at you in complete defiance and does the exact opposite of what you asked. Being a mom is something I had never considered, so I had no preconceived ideas of motherhood. In some ways it exceeds expectations, the amount of love for this tiny human is unexpected and overwhelming despite the numerous attempts to explain it. The areas of opportunity are too numerous to list, the top contenders on this year's list are patience, sleep scheduling, and menu planning. I figure if I can work on three things every year, I will be doing well. As a result, I really hope there aren't too many moments at 4 am where I feel the need to refer to my lovely child as a jerk.

The Nugget is a job not for the lighthearted, cowardly, or those who give up easily. She is stubborn, obstinate, and serious - traits she clearly inherited from her father. She is also focused, happy, and delight to those who love her. In her first year, I have learned my capacity to love has grown exponentially. I have an even deeper appreciation for my dedicated partner in this journey, he is even better than I could have imagined, without him I would most likely be in a lovely padded room due to lack of sleep. 

To answer the question, I love being Quinn's mom. Although I lived 35 years without this adorable child, it is hard to imagine a time that it didn't taking 10 minutes to get into a store or having a purse that resembles carry-on luggage. Happy Birthday Baby New Year!!! Here's to our next year of adventures, love, and smiles.

"I had no idea You would be a good mom."

If you asked me five years ago where I thought I would be now, I would guarantee my answer wouldn't be a stay-at-home mom living in Memphis. I had been in the pharmaceutical industry in Nebraska for ten years and it was all I knew, I had not ever really contemplated being married, and I certainly NEVER thought I would have kids of my own. But life never really goes as planned 100% of the time. I'll admit that I never thought much of stay-at-home moms. Not because I didn't know some fantastic ones, my cousin Amy is a prime example of wonder woman. She and others often made me feel inadequate because of the their organizational abilities in chaos, hospitality, and grace under pressure. 

Growing up only one of my friends had a mom who didn't have a paying job. When I was working, I always heard my counterparts talk about how bored they would be if they stayed at home with their kids all day. I think there is some truth to that because cajoling a child to eat day in and day out will make you wish happy hour began at noon. However the dirty little secret is no matter how much one loves their child, it is wonderful to have a place to escape. I daydream of the sales meetings I used to dread going to because if your mind drifted, no one was in peril. You had hours of quiet and food that you didn't have to prepare. Now if I space out, I find my child three rooms away at the dog bowl. This is frustrating for many reasons, the main one is that she will eat dog food but the idea of baby food is ridiculous to her. She is super fast, strong, and has the most absurd crawl. Anyone who has ever witnessed her in action will attest "it just ain't right". She refuses to put her knees down at all and will only allow her right calf to touch the floor, she uses her left foot as a propeller. She is really close to walking, which I'm sure is only the beginning of the 

2nd Circle of Mom Hell. 

My ubiquitous blog confession is being at home with your child is a really hard job. For every post I read about these wonder women who have itineraries and crafts for every week, I have also read many from  countless women who talk about be under-appreciated, exhausted, or miss having a clean house. Its a balance that I strive for every day, yet I am so far from it.  I am not a motherly type, this post title is an actual quote from my uncle. Sure I'm smart, loyal, and driven, but those aren't traditional maternal qualities. I learned to cook after being laid off from my job. Thanks again to my cousin Amy who introduced me to Cook's Illustrated. I can do laundry like a pro but the no sleep, no vacation, and constant need for my tiny human to be within 100 yards of me at all times does take a toll.

Just like every job, this one has its perks. Nugget's first word was Mama, and she waves and babbles constantly. She has an elvish sense of cuteness and she is beyond curious and interested in every thing. Watching her play with her big brother and sister is really adorable. I have given up wanting a really clean  house, it isn't going to happen. I am working on patience when I fall on a toy in the middle of the night, or kick a block through the room. Unlike any other job, there is no assigned trainer or grace period. You are thrown to the wolves and if you are lucky you have friends and family who help, give advice, and encourage you when you need it. I AM A LUCKY DOG because I have both.  

 

Cupcakes at 8 months? Why not.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!


While this post is a bit dated, I would be remiss not to post pictures of Quinn eating her first pieces of cake. For those traditionalists who think those should come with her first birthday, her father begs to differ. He's not a pediatrician, he deals with older people. My child is special of course but no where on her sheet of expected milestones did it say expose to cake. Sure she can't chew and her first two teeth came in two days after the cake eating, but it seemed like a great time for eating cake. I can't disagree, until now I had not considered there ever to be a bad time for cake. I used to get ice cream cake in my 20's and eat it for dinner for a week. Although poor food choice, it complemented my Cpt'n Crunch dinners nicely. But now I'm responsible for making her a healthy, responsible dinners and for the love of Pete, I just introduced her to stage 2 foods. I guess if I was a truly good mother I would puree the vegetables I had lovingly grown in a compost rich plot of land in my backyard. Honestly, I feel like its a winning day if she isn't covered in dog hair. Last week as she was rolling all over the den, I picked her up to move her back to the center of the room and she looked like the Wolfman's progeny. STO suggested we make a duct tape baby suit so she can aid in the clean up. I'm looking it up on Pinterest after I'm finished with this post.

Happy birthday to a man who takes care of people and answers questions for every one without hesitation. He has an encyclopedic memory. He can fix anything, even if takes a while. He is thoughtful, considerate, humble, genuinely good, and an excellent father. We're all lucky dogs because you're ours.

Daddy Am I Pretty?

When I was in college, I had a running joke with my dad. I always asked him in a ridiculous tone, "Daddy am I pretty?" His response was always an over the top "Oh yes darlin',  you're beautiful." I batted my eyes ridiculously and said thank you doing my best Southern Belle imitation. This tradition continued until the day he died. This tradition began when we overheard a sorority sister on Dad's Weekend ask her father if she was beautiful. She was quite serious and would never be mistaken for light-hearted. We looked at each other and immediately knew we needed to examine this conversation outside the confines of my sorority house. That was one of the great things about our relationship, we knew by looks what the other wanted. The long and short of our analysis was the statement was beyond ridiculous and needed to be repeated and often. I have often thought how many people overheard us and thought we were serious. Our routine was familiar and I'm sure irritating to those nearest and dearest to us.

When I see the nugget and her daddy together, I am excited at the possibilities of their inside jokes. In the above pictures I can already see her looks that are charming and have her daddy at her beck and call. I know I will feel jealousy at some point because I will just be mom. The mom who tirelessly cleans diapers, washes clothes, and worries if she is intellectually stimulated enough to become a good student of life. That's a whole other post though.... Ultimately though, I am really excited to watch their relationship grow.

However, I am glad she could not ask him if she was pretty when she was born. She looked like a helpless bird and looking back, she was not pretty but she was my everything.

90% Angel; 10% Tyrannical Howler Monkey

When the Nugget is good, she is really, really good. When she is bad, she is awful. This was in a story I remember being read to me as a child, and now I think my mother was trying to tell me something. She has said several times I am raising myself, that my child acts like I did as a baby. If I could remember the book, I would add it to the ever expanding library of children's books in our house. So far I Love You Stinky Face and I was So Mad are my favorite titles in our collection. Since I love books so much, I am forcing it on Quinn which means she will probably not like them. I have images of us going to the library and picking out books and sitting down for story hour. Isn't it nice when you can still live under the delusion your children will want to go along with all of the grand plans I have so lovingly conjured? Yeah, even I am not that naive. 

Back to the Howler Monkey, there are no parenting books I read nor know of that can adequately prepare you for the reign of terror a child can have during a temper tantrum. I am really hoping this happens to other children and not just mine. She can turn moods in the time it takes you to blink, and I am in no way exaggerating the speed with which she turns her temper on. My mother-in-law says Quinn has the quickest temper she has ever seen on a baby. I'm hoping that its just because it has been awhile since she has cared for an infant she feels this way.

On Easter weekend, Quinn showed her true colors in a spectacular meltdown at my mothers expense. Bnonna innocently bent over to pick up the Nugget and a scream that I am sure I have never heard before came out of her tiny lungs. Two hours later of letting her cry, warm baths, etc she finally settled down. That blood curdling scream wasn't heard again for 6 weeks, when she met my cousin Andrew and then again the next morning when Meme was holding her. Sister does not mess around when she wants to let lose. Luckily these meltdown were not as long in duration but still as nerve rattling. 

June was especially full of meltdowns for her, then mine. Thus the reason for my break from blogging. I'm getting back on track since Quinn seems to be settling into a more subdued version of the meltdown. Let's hope I did not just curse myself but typing that. 

Crying is allowed as long as I can take a picture

Charlie loves her when shes quiet.

Taken right before she punched the dog, not on purpose. I think.

Six Months and All Is Well...

 

SIX Months

 

12 lbs 10 ozs, 24.5 inches

3% and 5% respectively

on the Term Baby Growth Chart!! She has made it on the "normal" baby measurement system. Her head is 15%, so like the pictures show her head is huge. Maybe it is just her cheeks. Her doctor says she is doing great for a 6 month old, her physical therapist says she's on track for a 4.5 month old. I really wish they would get on the same page but since the likelihood of this happening is about the same as everyone wanting the same person for political office, I choose to believe she perfect just as she is.

 

 



Swimming with Style

Quinn's first swimsuit

Funcle and the bathing beauty (I'm sure Winston Churchill looked this good!)

Quinn Loves the Pool, then again who wouldn't if you got to ride in style like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a great picture of how big her cheeks are!

Fancy Pictures

Febreeze Ad, Quinn Style

Angel Baby

Quinn enjoys being the center of attention

Family Photo with Winston Churchill

 



I used to think I was a good photographer, until I met Melissa Sweazy. She is amazing, she captures the images as they appear in my head but they never quite translate to the pictures. Melissa has captured our engagement, marriage, family photos, and now Quinn's newborn pictures. I love the way she is able to capture our personalities consistently. Even if this is not an authentic newborn shoot, it was done in true Quinn fashion. It was done on her own time, on her terms and it turned out better than I expected.

 

 

 

4 Months.

Her First Picture

She really enjoys looking at herself, others are fine but she prefers herself. Scary.

 

Three years ago today I moved to Memphis. Four months ago today I become a mom. In the awful year that was 2009, I would have never thought I would have been in this state of domestic bliss. In fact, I am not going to talk about it because it is even nauseating to me.

Quinn went to the doctor today for her four month check and shots and weighs in at 10.8 pounds and 22 inches long. She is almost on the term baby curve for height and 3% for weight. Despite her aversion to eating in an efficient manner, she is doing great. Her doctor said she clearly not suffering in the nutrition department, so not to worry about her eating. Easy for him to say, worrying is now my new profession and frankly its exhausting.

Round the Waking Clock

 

 

This picture sums up feeding Quinn. It is exhausting and it often requires an adult beverage to complete. Her struggle to finish bottles in the NICU has continued, and amplified. She now "eats" every 2-3 hours and it takes FOREVER. Occasionally she will throw us a bone and eat in 15 minutes, but typically it takes about 45 minutes to an hour to finish 2 ozs. I have started supplementing breast milk with her preemie formula to ensure she gets the calories. Quinn has not really nursed since she came home from the NICU. Although pumping exclusively is not my idea of a great time, I am grateful because I would not know how much milk she is taking and I am quite certain I would lose my mind if I had to feed her all the time.

 

 

Clearly, she is not starving. She weighs about 10.5 lbs and her cheeks continue to defy gravity. Her wrists and legs even have fat rolls, a major accomplishment given her scrawny beginning. She is adorable and stubborn and feeding her should be a requirement for any one considering having a child or used as a method to make sure you never have to make dinner again. When faced with the decision of feeding her or making dinner, 10 of 10 times people will make homemade dumplins.

 

Blessings Countinue.

Aunts make the best conversationalists.

 Its hard work lifting her cheeks.

Baby snuggle time makes happy people.

 Despite her simian appearance, she's all baby.

 

I've always known I was blessed. My life in the last few months has proven this over and over. Family, friends, and pretty much every one we have encountered on this journey has shown us love and support. Even when we are tired, cranky, and just plain irritable, people in our lives are overwhelmingly wonderful to us. They cook for us, help with encouraging words, and let us take naps (my personal favorite). Quinn is fortunate enough to have aunts and uncles who care so much for her and her well-being. From Funcle sending multiple articles on her care and keeping to her Aunt Liza teaching her the rules of being a baby to Auntie Lori giving her a ton of Mizzou paraphernalia to become a proper tiger, Quinn has received so much love and attention. I am reminded daily of our fortune of her overall health and calmness.

 

Last week we went to visit STO at his office, by chance her twin neighbors from the NICU were there. Their mother also suffered from toxemia but hers had not resolved like mine did. She was visiting one of STO's partners and I got to hold her babies who were three weeks younger than our Nugget. They weighed 2 lbs less than her and looked so much smaller. I feel so fortunate our girl is strong and healthy. Given her beginnings, it could have gone any way. So far, she's serious, content, and not happy when she thinks she's being excluded from any conversation. When she was born so tiny and helpless, it was hard to envision. But like everyone assured me, she is thus far a normal child. However, she comes from a long line of awesomeness so I expect once she stays awake for longer than 4 hours it will exude from her being. 

Three Months and Counting.

 Three Month Stats
         9.2 lbs
         21 inches
         50% height and weight for her adjusted age
         99% for cheek circumference

 

Quinn is already practicing her dance moves, she has inherited her father and brother's penchant for this form of expression.

 

She has inherited my flair for the dramatic, she has won her first faux pageant. I may have created a few of these whenever I see spare ribbon that is begging to be a sash. The latest being my cousin Will's wedding which upped the ante by providing a scepter which made me queen. I love that I have been able to pass this down to my child, even if she has no choice.

Easter Blessings

Grandparents love pictures. 

 Sibling picture, don't they look thrilled.

 Proud Daddy.

Bnonna is very happy and colorful.

 Pictures are exhausting.

Nugget has had enough and doesn't care to talk to her momma, despite my best stories.

 

Luckily the entertainment was ready for the afternoon show.

 

              We are so blessed to have families that enjoy each other and celebrate holidays together.
              We are very grateful for this and our many blessings.

Family Bonding.

 Reecer tells her the facts of life.

Funcle tries the sling.

 Bailey has her own doll.

 Quinn has already started squaking at Bnonna